____ says there is an “I” in Chuck Norris, but there is no “TEAM.” Not even close.
____ reminds you that sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
I'm a lazy bastard:
____ thinks that something seems to be wrong with my butt today, as I can't seem to get up off of it.
Keep 'em guessing:
____ says someday we’ll look back on all this and laugh nervously.
____ thinks it's unlikely I have any business participating in this year's fashion trends.
____ thinks my new philosophy is to admit nothing, deny everything and make several counter-accusations.
____ hates 5:30am when it's when I'm waking up, not when I'm passing out...
Facebook update about Facebook:
____ thinks if you give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach a person to use facebook and they won't bother you for weeks.
On being indecisive:
____ thinks today is a day for firm decisions. Or is it?
____ thinks a religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.