Allow Mitch Hedberg to assist you in writing your hilarious facebook status today.

____ My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so ... yeah".
____ I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
____ This shirt is "dry-clean only"...which means it's dirty.
____ I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."

Mitch Hedberg, you are missed.

Comedy Central Presents	Friday 10pm / 9c
Mitch Hedberg - Wall Knocking
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