...if you AREN'T a fan:
____ is on Team Twilight Sucks.
____ if you want me to be more like Edward from Twilight, I could get a bad haircut, roll around in glitter and be emotionally abusive.
____ thinks that real vampires don't sparkle.
____ thinks that if I have to hear anymore about Twilight, I'm going to thrust a stake through my own heart.
____ thinks I could feed my dog a dictionary and he could crap a better plot than Twilight.
____ hates vampires. They can't see their reflections, yet their hair and makeup is always perfect.
...if you ARE a fan, but pretend you AREN'T:
____ secretly loves Twilight.
____ never thought of myself as a loser...then I read Twilight and LOVED it.
...if you ARE a fan:
____ needs to find something to do now that my year of waiting for the new Twilight movie is over.
____ thinks that because I read Twilight, I have unrealistic expectations of men.
____ says not to worry...according to Twilight there is no downside to being dead.
____ wants to thank Twilight for causing my freakishly pale skin to suddenly be a turn-on.
