____ did like your status update. Now, 25 notifications later, I'm hating me for liking your status.
____ would like to think of it as more like a sobriety problem...
____ isn't "stalking" you, I'm simply following your live-action Twitter feed from a ladder outside your window.
____ Dear Pringles, Now that I am no longer a child, I can no longer fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness. Work on that.
FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Want to share a funny, clever or witty Facebook status update? Do you have a funny one-liner you'd like to share? Send me an email at email@example.com. I will publish those that my twisted mind enjoys.