____ is relentlessly awesome!
____ all of the proceeds from this Facebook Status update will benefit my image.
____ is not pleased with the results of Googling myself.
____ doesn't care what we do this weekend as long as we make it look fun in photos for my Facebook friends.
____ allow me to apologize in advance for the A-hole behavior that I am going to exhibit tonight.
____ thinks there's really no need to listen to the warnings of somebody who is neither a surgeon nor a general.
____ is desperately seeking my next enabler.