____ Everyone is getting flocks of geese from Heifer for Christmas and you can all STFU about it.
____ Unemployment has taught me how to make holiday gifts out of everyday household items.
____ Sweet Jesus, I hate eggnog.
____ The holidays = the exact opposite of fun.
____ wants you to remember, it's the gift, not the thought, that counts.
____ When they said "don we now our gay apparel", nobody thought you'd take it so far.
____ I told a student in kindergarten that candy canes were the bones of reject elves.
____ thinks that if I keep this up, the Christmas miracle will be me getting my jeans buttoned.
...more Holiday Facebook status updates HERE and HERE.