Random update about beer koozies:
____ You'll never regret carrying a koozie.
____ Not all of us have the time to fulfill our life's ambition of being completely ridiculous.
____ believes that everything happens for a reason. Usually, the reason is that somebody screwed up.
____ just bought a house!!!! For my dog. Suckas!
____ is desperately seeking my next enabler.
____ Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? I bet he's not laughing out loud.
Passive-aggressive status update:
____ I hope that my passive aggressive silence has been noted.