____ is excited for Christmas. What other time of the year can you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks?____ Where is that fat bastard?
____ has a sweet parking spot at the mall. I'm going to sit here for the next 10 minutes in reverse just to mess with people.
____ Nothing like a dysfunctional family trying to function for the Holidays.
____ "I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark." -Dick Gregory
____ Only 16 more days until you ultimately disappoint me.
____ Dear Santa, I was framed.
____ While assuring children that Santa really does exist, I'm often quick to add "unlike you" just to keep them on their toes.
____ Just a reminder in these tough economic times that instead of spending five dollars on my Christmas card, you could just give me five dollars.
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