____ is excited for Christmas. What other time of the year can you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks?
____ Where is that fat bastard?
____ has a sweet parking spot at the mall. I'm going to sit here for the next 10 minutes in reverse just to mess with people.
____ Nothing like a dysfunctional family trying to function for the Holidays.
____ "I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark." -Dick Gregory
____ Only 16 more days until you ultimately disappoint me.
____ Dear Santa, I was framed.
____ While assuring children that Santa really does exist, I'm often quick to add "unlike you" just to keep them on their toes.
____ Just a reminder in these tough economic times that instead of spending five dollars on my Christmas card, you could just give me five dollars.
Like my status updates? Why don't you stroke my ego a bit and BECOME A FAN ON FACEBOOK?