____ According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
____ thinks it might just be the PMS talking, but I wish you were dead.
____ is not offended by all of those dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
____ wants to thank you for giving weight to my argument that all men are inherent dillholes.
____ thinks that someday I'll look back on this economy and tell my grandchildren about how I had to save money by growing my own boobs.
____ is sorry you mistook my basic human decency for attraction.
____ thinks that friends don't let friends do stupid things...alone.
____ thinks there's nothing like a hideously unflattering haircut to start off the New Year.
____ no, I am not feeling tired or under the weather today, I just forgot to put on mascara. Jerks.