Monday, January 18, 2010

I just can't get enough sarcastic Facebook status updates...ever. EVER!

____ thinks that pretending to work whilst working is starting to become a full-time job.
____ will always cherish the nice things I assume you are saying about me. Thank you.
____ if life has taught me one thing, it's that I don't know diddly squat.
____ didn't forget your birthday...I remembered it as soon as I came to.
____ loves you even when I'm sober...and that's not just the booze talking.
____ thinks it's a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
____ now that I know there's water on the moon, your natural spring water from the Swiss Alps bores me.
____ is sure that everyone has a right to their own opinion, but I think you'll find that mine is the only one that counts.