____ always tells people to take the high road. That way there's more room for me on the low road.
Life has gotten a little too easy:
____ finds untangling my iPod earbuds to be the most complicated part of my day.
You've seen the future, and it looks drunk:
____ would like to take this time to apologize in advance for the poor choices I will be making this weekend.
____ has no idea when to use a semicolon; See
____ saw things going much differently in my head.
Latin (it makes you seem smart):
____ Canis meus it comedit. My dog ate it.
Brilliant thought for the day:
____ thinks a smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a pool.