Monday, January 4, 2010

Witty, clever and all-around awesome status updates for Facebook...check!

____ killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
____ promises I'm not stalking you. By the way, you're out of milk.
____ thinks if you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
____ is pretty sure if you don't cheat at Monopoly, your heart's not really in it.
____ is wondering why no matter how hard you pinch the skin on your elbow, it doesn't hurt. I know, you're trying it now, aren't you?
____ loves every one of you wacky bastards.
____ only “occasionally” uses air quotes.
____ can’t get enough minimalism.