____ needs someone to help me relieve my conscience.
____ is only updating my status because my legions of fans expect me to.
____ thinks rice is a good option if you feel like eating 3000 of something.
____ You never know what I have up my sleeve. Today, for instance, it was a goldfish cracker.
Deep thoughts/Big words:
____ wants to know if you ever fall asleep reading Wiki and wake up feeling totally disambiguated?
____ thinks if the medical profession really wanted to be dicks, they would add a new letter to ADHD every year.
____ Wit, n.: The art of subtly steering a conversation in the direction of the hilarious pun you came up with 3 weeks ago.
Uncategorizable/with regards to funk:
____ isn't one to bring the funk, but perhaps I shall rent the funk for a day.
____ thinks my ennui is at all all-time whatever.
More big words, this time regarding footwear:
____ thinks Uggs are the onomatopoeia of footwear.
FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. This update will ONLY be posted on my Fan page, not on this site. Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Want to share a funny Facebook status update? Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I will publish those that my twisted mind enjoys...