Don't be a jerk to Fido:
____ thinks if your dog is wearing clothes, you're probably an a-hole. (thanks, Brenda Moses)
____ thinks the Hamburglar always resented his more ambitious older brother, Cheeseburglar.
____ For Lent this year, I'm giving up beads.
____ feels happy and scared and weird and nostalgic.
Starbucks is expensive:
____ thinks Starbucks clearly has no idea we're in a recession.
____ really wants to understand people who like black jelly beans.
Being annoying can also be fun:
____ Don’t you hate when the whole movie theater’s empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do, that’s why I do it.
____ thinks “literally” is becoming the new “like.” It’s like, out of control. but it’s also literally out of control. Make it stop. (thanks, Jimmy Schill)
FYI: From now on, I will grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. This update will ONLY be posted on my Fan page, not on this site. Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Want to share a funny Facebook status update? Send me an email at email@example.com. I will publish those that my twisted mind enjoys...