Monday, February 15, 2010

I took some Tweets and engineered them to become Facebook Status updates. Therefore, if you don't think they're funny, it's not my fault. It's Twitter's fault.

____ is so jealous of my girlfriend. She's got the most awesome boyfriend in the world!
____ Bad news, guys. Just found out the unemployment rate has reached 100% in my apartment.
____ Dear People Telling Me What To Do, Don't tell me what to do. Love, Not your employee.
____ thinks that if you ever have way too much to do, but no time, try this: Turn off all the lights, and your phone, and just totally go to bed.
____ thinks it's so nice to be home. I am so tired of alcohol. (Just kidding!)
____ wants my Starbucks coffee barista to know there's a middle ground between surly and aggressively chipper...
____ is thinking about starting a cult. Anyone want to join?

FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. This update will ONLY be posted on my Fan page, not on this site. Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Want to share a funny Facebook status update? Send me an email at I will publish those that my twisted mind enjoys...