____ is so jealous of my girlfriend. She's got the most awesome boyfriend in the world!
____ Bad news, guys. Just found out the unemployment rate has reached 100% in my apartment.
____ Dear People Telling Me What To Do, Don't tell me what to do. Love, Not your employee.
____ thinks that if you ever have way too much to do, but no time, try this: Turn off all the lights, and your phone, and just totally go to bed.
____ thinks it's so nice to be home. I am so tired of alcohol. (Just kidding!)
____ wants my Starbucks coffee barista to know there's a middle ground between surly and aggressively chipper...
____ is thinking about starting a cult. Anyone want to join?
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