I've been doing this blog for a few months now. Here are some of my favorites so far:

On Facebook:

____ Facebook helps me dislike old friends in new ways.

Drinking/Partying:

____ thinks that tonight I'm gonna party like it's $19.99 (recession joke).
____ was unsober last night.

Not growing up:

____ is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

Idiot drivers:

____ thinks that if that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive better.

Anger:

____ On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, my anger level is a 7.

Ego:

____ is sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Birthdays:

____ says happy birthday to a sports fan who may just be realizing he's now older than his favorite athletes.

____ says happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.

Witty:

____ likes being vague, because it’s almost as fun as doing this other thing.