____ thinks a card is not a gift. It's just a sappy gushing of sentiment to hide the fact that there's no check inside.
____ sometimes I think something and I'm like, "that would be a good Facebook Status update." This is not one of those.
____ is disappointed to hear that "Baby Einstein" videos don't work, after wasting so many hours watching them.
____ has run out of post-it notes and has no way of reminding myself to buy more.
____ had a great time at (insert your location) tonight, but the conversation had a conspicuous lack of swedish hip hop jazz.
____ thinks that the soda tax is an assault on our values, much like sierra mist is an assault on thirst...
____ just found out tanning beds are as dangerous as arsenic. Also, just found out arsenic is dangerous.
____ thinks that whoever said revenge is a dished best served cold has never tried it sauteed with carrots and summer squash. Delightful!
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