Tuesday, March 30, 2010

April Fool's Day status updates and quotes to use on Facebook:

____ just taped magnets to the bottom of my empty coffee cup and attached it to the top of my car. Can't wait to see how many people will try and flag me down...
____ knows from experience that fathers thoroughly enjoy being the butt of the classic "plastic wrap on the toilet bowl" joke.
____ is sad to report that I'll be closing my Facebook account. It's gotten me into too much trouble. Was fun while it lasted.
____ is wondering if anyone could help me acquire a flame-retardant jumpsuit for April Fools Day? Anyone?
____ likes to spend this day remembering all of the idiots who have come and gone in my life.
____ is on watch for any high jinks, horseplay and/or shenanigans today. Don't even think about it.
____ is so tired. APRIL FOOL'S! I'm NOT tired. (I'm kind of tired)
____ wants you to know that I will not take any "serious" Facebook status updates seriously today.
____ Gullible people should just avoid Facebook for the next 24 hours.
____ stopped celebrating April Fools Day when I realized my life was the big joke. Lol, j/k, I'm awesome.
____ on April Fool's Day, my natural distrust of others will be ratcheted up a level to borderline psychosis.
____ Facebook + April Fools Day = should be interesting.
____ "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." ~Chinese Proverb
____ "Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed." ~Mark Twain
____ "One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said. 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late." ~Jack Handey
____ "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." ~ Will Rogers

FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Want to share a funny Facebook status update? Send me an email at mystatusisbaddest@yahoo.com. I will publish those that my twisted mind enjoys.