Monday, March 22, 2010

Happy Monday! Some Funny, Clever, Witty, Sarcastic, blah, blah, blah, quotes / Facebook Status updates to start off your week the right way:

____ thinks that my favorite part about the first beautiful days of spring is how I'm always inside staring at a computer during them.
Following rules:
____ follows the rules sometimes. Usually it's when I'm not aware of what the rules are.
Facebook friends:
____ Meeting a Facebook friend for drinks after work. Hope he doesn't bring up that Farmville invite I ignored.
On being passive/agressive:
____ is feeling politely confrontational today. Would anyone care for a piece of me?
____ likes to test a psychic's ability with a knock-knock joke. If they say "Who's there?" I get the hell out of there.

For no extra charge, some funny quotes from comedians to use as your status updates:
____ "A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice." ~Bill Cosby
____ "I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth." ~Janeane Garofalo
____ "Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you." ~Ray Romano

FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. Do you like smart, creative updates? Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Want to share a funny Facebook status update? Send me an email at I will publish those that my twisted mind enjoys...