Spring:
____ thinks that my favorite part about the first beautiful days of spring is how I'm always inside staring at a computer during them.
Following rules:
____ follows the rules sometimes. Usually it's when I'm not aware of what the rules are.
Facebook friends:
____ Meeting a Facebook friend for drinks after work. Hope he doesn't bring up that Farmville invite I ignored.
On being passive/agressive:
____ is feeling politely confrontational today. Would anyone care for a piece of me?
Psychics:
____ likes to test a psychic's ability with a knock-knock joke. If they say "Who's there?" I get the hell out of there.
For no extra charge, some funny quotes from comedians to use as your status updates:
____ "A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice." ~Bill Cosby
____ "I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth." ~Janeane Garofalo
____ "Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you." ~Ray Romano
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