Saturday, March 6, 2010

I'm giving you *spanking new* Facebook Status updates, even on a Saturday. That's just how I do things:

____ thought I was having déjà vu but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
____ thinks the nice thing about waiting a week to listen to your voicemail is that those people usually don't need you for that thing anymore.
____ was a child genius. Unfortunately I grew out of it.
____ doesn't feel ashamed enough after just 2 Twix bars. I think they should probably add a third to the package, for good measure.
____ thinks that Operation "Gain As Much Weight As Humanly Possible While On Vacation" is right on schedule so far.

FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Want to share a funny, clever or witty Facebook status update? Do you have a funny one-liner you'd like to share? Send me an email at I will publish those that my twisted mind enjoys.