____ has realized my superpower. I can walk into any bathroom and the toilet paper roll will be empty.
On Getting Older:
____ Dear Gravity, you are one strong, stubborn bitch.
Big Words (they make you seem smarter):
____ thinks this day has left me in a state of flabbergastation.
Incredibly Random Thought for the Day (pertaining to ants):
____ likes to think that when I squish an ant, its final thought is, "Good. Being an ant blows."
____ thinks it's tricky when you're ignoring someone and they ask you if you're ignoring them.
____ is wondering what childless IDIOT invented glitter glue?
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