____ bets that in prison everyone's relationship status is set to "it's complicated".
____ thinks if you have a chip on your shoulder, you're missing your mouth.
Hangovers (because St. Patrick's day was yesterday):
____ is beginning to suspect the only reason I'm not hungover is because I'm still drunk.
Getting up early sucks:
____ is up at the smack of dawn.
____ thinks my treadmill should be called a "Weapon of Ass Reduction".
FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. Do you like smart, creative updates? Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Want to share a funny Facebook status update? Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I will publish those that my twisted mind enjoys...