Sunday, April 18, 2010

Brand-spanking new Facebook Status updates! For free!

____ read somewhere that Monday is the most productive day of the work/school week. Today I will be doing my part to reduce this ugly statistic.
____ thinks the bad thing about having kids is that they are ALL morning people.
____ would be a better listener if I could listen by talking.
On Facebook updates:
____ Sometimes I read Facebook status updates and I can't understand them. Then I say to hell with it and read some that aren't mine.
____ just wants someone to tell me how Facebook ends so I don't have finish all this reading.
____ How do you keep a Facebook user in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.
____ is just wanting to remind some people that attire for today is "Casual Friday," not "Sorry-We-Woke-You Friday."
____ thinks my workplace is like an episode of "The Office", but without the humor.
____ ...and now back to our regularly scheduled program of working and brooding, already in progress.
____ had better get to work. These scissors aren't going to run with themselves...
Facebook burglars:
____ just read that burglars use Facebook to see when people aren't home. So from now on, I'm at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile.
Annoying people:
_____ is about to donate a can of whoop-ass to the less fortunate.
Texting in class:
____ thinks this class just got interesting!!! They're threatening to take away someone's iPho
____ is wondering if all these adverbs are actually completely totally necessary?
Don't be such a wimp:
____ Passive-aggression: Because it's fine. No. Really. It's fine.
Optimism vs. Pessimism:
____ thinks that for some, the glass is half empty. For some, the glass is half full. Mine is half full. Could you top me off?
Dieting sucks:
____ is on this great new diet where you can eat whatever you want and still gain weight.