____ When they eventually find the center of the Universe, a lot of people will be surprised to find out it's NOT them.....
____ Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
____ thinks that a person without values or standards can never be a hypocrite.
____ didn't mean to accept your friend request. This is the last status you will rea...
____ thinks a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
More reader-submitted updates:
___ could it be? Is that water you are walking on? Oh wait, that is just your mud hole, sorry about that... thought you were someone who could judge others...(thanks, Leigh!)
____ has become a fan of watching everyone become a fan of everything! (thanks, Jason G.!)
____ has been waiting for 2 days for someone on CNN to pronounce Eyjafjallajokull. (thanks, Jennifer!)
____ thinks that when I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui, and I want my wife to be so upset she has to drop out of college. (thanks, Adam Talley!)
____ is single, and his hobbies include crunches and listening to stories about how someone's day went. Call me, ladies! (thanks, Nathan Smith!)
____ doesn't allow men to smoke in his room, but women can. Hell, they can barbecue a goat if they want. (thanks again, Nathan Smith!)
The next four were sent by RAYNA CANEDY. Thanks, Rayna!
____ thinks that if they would have named Facebook "Spy on You" instead, most of us would have never joined.
____ Let's kick Thursday's Ass all the way to Friday!
____ thinks my life has no meaning, no purpose anymore.... Oh wait, I found the remote to the T.V., nevermind!
____ My Iphone keeps asking me to tap it. I am starting to feel sexually harassed!
Do you have a funny status update you'd like to share with the world (or, at least, the people of the world that read this particular blog)? Do you have a hilarious quote you'd like to share? Please, don't be selfish, people! Send them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.While you're at it, why don't you go ahead and