- "In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?" -Warren Hutcherson
- "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh." -Conan O'Brien
- "Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason." -Jerry Seinfeld
- "Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?" -Groucho Marx
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