Thursday, May 6, 2010

Status updates from my Facebook Fan page:

Each day I publish a new status update on my FACEBOOK FAN PAGE. I've documented the status updates from the first half of last month below. Enjoy!
Grammar is important:
____ thinks spell check is for the week.
____ is just sitting around having some pre-hangover drinks with friends.
____ thinks the voices in my head are out of wine.
____ will either rise OR shine, Monday. You can't have both.
____ is sorry, I just don't see how this class/meeting will help me with my blossoming career in Farmville.
____ thinks you can't run from your problems forever. Eventually, you'll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them. (Caprice Crane)
Rough night:
____ is certain I had a great time last night. As soon as I'm done reading this police report, I'll let you know.
Rod Stewart:
____ thinks it's wrong that so many people get their daily news from Jon Stewart. I get mine from Rod Stewart. Breaking news: I think I'm sexy.
Money (or lack thereof):
____ is wondering why there is so much month left at the end of the money?
____ This Facebook status update contains a give me subliminal money message.
____ took some time off from Facebook and got a LOT of work done. Won't make that mistake again...
____ thinks Facebook keeps trying REALLY hard to connect me with people I'm desperately trying to avoid.
April Fool's Day:
____ just taped magnets to the bottom of my empty coffee cup and attached it to the top of my car. Can't wait to see how many people will try and flag me down...
____ drinks coffee to fill the large void in my life where a nap should be.
Easter candy:
____ is eating Easter candy. I wonder how quickly I can convert it into fat cells?

Of course, if you become a FAN ON FACEBOOK, you will stroke my ego see them daily and won't have to wait for this list.