____ is planning on embarrassing my kids for Father's Day, so it's pretty much like every other day.
____ in honor of Father's Day, I came up with a bourbon and cookie diet that is going to make me so rich. And fat. And drunk. At least two of those.
____ The greatest thing about Fathers Day is paying for all these gifts I didn't want.
____ It's almost noon and still nobody has peeled me a grape. Worst. Father's Day. Ever.
____ is getting out the Duct tape. There. It's fixed.
____ "Well, an iPad would be nice for Father's Day, but I'd settle for 10 minutes of damn silence." - most dads
To post in honor of your Dad:
____ Why are high-tech gadgets always categorized as "gifts for Dad?" I don't know about your dad, but my dad can barely work a disposable camera.
____ My Dad sends his love because he thinks I know you all personally.
____ would use Facebook to wish my dad a happy Father's Day, but he hates Facebook and everything it stands for.
____ Dad, I love how we don't even have to say out loud that I'm your favorite.
____ If you're lucky enough to still have a dad, the best Father's Day gift would be to call the guy and ask his advice about something. Anything.
____ Dad, it appears your lifelong theory about the entire world going to hell in a handbasket was dead-on.
____ My Father accused me of Facebooking my life away then he said something else but I didn't hear him because I was writing this. He's crazy.
Quote about Father's Day:
____ "To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years." -Ernest Hemingway
