Wednesday, July 14, 2010

New Witty Facebook Status updates, 7/14/10:

____ has invented a new low-intensity cardio workout that requires me to lay completely still on the couch.
Money (or lack of)
____ wishes I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
____ Coffee...prepare to meet your maker. 
Annoying people:
____ Why is it that the people who tell you to relax are almost always the source of your anxiety? (from my FACEBOOK FAN PAGE)
Bad Day:
____ is thinking of a number between "one" and "shut the hell up".
Work stinks:
____ Don't judge me. If you're reading this, then you aren't working either. (from my FACEBOOK FAN PAGE)
Fan updates:
____ Sometimes I think about much work stinks and then I remember that I have vodka in the freezer. (thanks, Jessica Griffin!)
____ has been embraced by reality.....does anyone know how to make it let go? (thanks, Tiffany Vann!)
____ has had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. (thanks, Damian Omar Plaza!)
Wise Quote:
____ "I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. " J. D. Salinger

Couldn't find a status update you could use from this batch? I've been writing this blog for 9 LONG MONTHS now, and have written thousands of status updates just for you. Look around my site for a bit and you are bound to find something that works!  Also, I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new status update DAILY, click HERE to become a Fan. Want to share a funny, clever or witty Facebook status update? Send me an email at Thanks for stopping by!