Saturday, July 3, 2010

I write a new Facebook Status update every single day, MSIB readers.Here are last month's status updates, in one handy blog post:

____Irony is people complaining about Facebook's privacy settings when every other update is about their weekly visit to their gynecologist.
____ got a mosquito bite last night. Bet that little guy is pretty hungover today.
____ should pay a psychiatrist to follow me on Facebook. Then we can skip the therapy sessions and he can just send me the appropriate pills based on my status updates.
____ thinks nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it.
____ Goodbye, pillow. Hello, cruel world.
____ is only on here for entertainment. Please don't try and make me learn anything.
____ "You thought that drinking all weekend would make us go away but we're still here. Happy Monday!" Sincerely, Your Problems.
____ thinks that the key to friendship is to accept the other person's faults. You'll understand this should I ever develop any.
____ thinks that the first few people to join Facebook must have felt like pretty big losers.
____ thinks that nothing quite takes the place of research like making stuff up.
____ thinks that if you took a Facebook IQ Test and it determined you’re a Genius, the fact that you participated in a Facebook test negates the results.
____ will admit that I would be a lot more interested in what you were saying if it was about me.
____ thinks nothing improves creativity more than a lack of supervision.
____ could careless about proper grammar and word usage.

Of course, if you become a FAN ON FACEBOOK, you will stroke my ego see them daily and won't have to wait for this list. Want to share a funny, clever or witty Facebook status update? Do you have a funny one-liner you'd like to share? Send me an email at I will publish those that my twisted mind enjoys.