Wednesday, August 11, 2010

New and Witty Facebook Status updates, 8/11/10:

Facebook Status updates about Facebook:
____ is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I'm awesome. (from my FAN PAGE)
____ You know what I like to do on Facebook? Answer my own questions.
____ If at first you don't succeed, wait a third of your life and look him/her up on Facebook.
Dieting is stupid:
____ thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off. (from my FAN PAGE)
Bad day:
____ thinks that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
____ is just making stuff up now.
Status update about DRINKING:
____ is pretty tired of these kids running lemonade stands acting like they've never even heard of vodka before.
____ wonders how we really know that hard work never killed anybody, when the only reliable witness may be dead? (thanks, Angela S!)
____ "I'm really bad with directions," translates to me as "I'm too stupid to read road signs." (thanks, Dan Rodriguez!)
_____ is debating on a new career path, but can't decide if I would make a better professional thumb wrestler or butt model. (thanks, Matt Gilliland!)

Couldn't find a status update you could use from this batch? I've been writing this blog for quite some time now, and have written thousands of status updates just for you. Look around my site for a bit and you are bound to find something that works!  Also, I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new status update DAILY, click HERE to become a Fan. Want to share a funny, clever or witty Facebook status update? Send me an email at Thanks for stopping by!