____ The first rule of Hangover Club is: SHHHH. (from my FB Fan Page)
____ thinks that ignoring things doesn't make them go away, it makes them drunk-dial you.
____ is an organ donor, but I'm pretty sure all they're going to use my liver for is "after" photos. (Angela Helga via FUNNY ON FACEBOOK)
Facebook Status updates about Facebook:
____ gets all of my weather from Facebook.
____ If a creepy person asks why you never add your location to your Facebook Status updates, it's probably a good idea to never add your location to your Facebook Status updates.
____ Does all this updating my Facebook status make my ego look fat? (thanks, Bradley Burns!)
____ On Facebook nobody can hear you scream. Unless you carefully and precisely explain in your Facebook Status update that you are, in fact, screaming.
Words of wisdom:
____ thinks that, at this point in my life, I am surprised by nothing and baffled by everything.
____ Time flies when you're throwing your alarm clock across the room. (from my FB Fan Page)
____ "I just read that Facebook has reached 500 million users. Congrats to everyone who helped create history's largest stalker buffet." -Conan O'Brien
FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Want to share a funny, clever or witty Facebook status update? Do you have a funny one-liner you'd like to share? Send me an email at email@example.com.