____ feels like Nick Nolte's mugshot.
____ is in that awkward phase of the day between never drinking again and noon.
____ thinks that the problem with being an drunken time traveller is not being able to remember a single thing about tomorrow.
____ has learned that there are at least three different ways to end up with the same mistake.
Life is Good:
____ is feeling so good today, I'd like to ask you to high-five the person next to you and tell them it's from me.
Exercise (or lack of):
____ is counting the past 2 hours of lying on the couch *not* going to the gym as resistance training.
____ isn't sure what's so "outstanding" about this bill? It seems pretty ordinary to me.
____ My list of things that I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List.
____ is so dependent on the Google "Did you mean ____?" that I barely bother to spell anything even remotely correctly anymore.
____ "Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil." -Emo Philips