Monday, September 20, 2010

New Facebook Status updates, 9/20/10:

Fan update:
____ is wondering why every energy drink on the planet glows in the dark and tastes like detergent. (thanks, Claudia Rode!)
____ thinks that criticism of my job performance is welcome, as long as you go to hell afterwards.
____ Updating my Facebook Status from the treadmill really isn't that diffic (from my FB FAN PAGE)
____ thinks that when you don't know what you're talking about, it's hard to know when you're finished.
____ When someone asks me to do something, often my instinct is to do the opposite. (from my FB FAN PAGE)
____ thinks that my liver just gave me two weeks notice.
____ needs more time in the day to properly put off the thing I want to avoid doing.
Facebook + Drinking:
____ loves doing the “scroll of shame” the morning after drinking. That's when I walk through all the stuff I shouldn't have done on Facebook the night before. (from my FB FAN PAGE)

Couldn't find a status update you could use from this batch? I've been writing this blog for ALMOST A YEAR now, and have written thousands of status updates just for you. Look around my site for a bit and you are bound to find something that works!  Also, I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new status update DAILY, click HERE to become a Fan. Want to share a funny, clever or witty Facebook status update? Send me an email at Thanks for stopping by!