I simply cannot believe that I've been writing MY STATUS IS BADDEST for a year now, people. All week I will share with you a few of my favorite Facebook status updates I've written for you to steal and use as your own. You're welcome.
____ Irony is people complaining about Facebook's privacy settings when every other update is about their weekly visit to their gynecologist. (original post HERE)
____ should pay a psychiatrist to follow me on Facebook. Then we can skip the therapy sessions and he can just send me the appropriate pills based on my status updates. (original post HERE)
____ was going to write a meaningful new Facebook status update, filled with deep, thoughtful sentiments, but screw that. (original post HERE)
____ Thanks to Facebook, even choosing how to WASTE my time is stressful. (original post HERE)
____ is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I'm awesome. (Original post HERE)
____ thinks my biggest problem with the younger generation is that I'm not in it. (original post HERE)
____ Two guys walk into a bar. I was one of them. I don't remember anything else. (original post HERE)
____ thinks that what I like most about myself is that I'm so understanding when I do something wrong. (original post HERE)
____ likes Facebook because I can say whatever I want about anyone as long as it's carefully worded so you can't tell that I'm talking about you, Rebecca. (original post HERE)
____ Idiot, n. - One who disagrees with me. (original post HERE)
Come back tomorrow to see the next batch of my favorite FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES from the last year, and thanks for reading!