Kids:
____ Telling a kid they're tired is like telling a drunk person they're drunk. Anger and denial follows.
Aging:
____ while most people are becoming older and wiser, I'm becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
Honesty:
____ always tells the truth because having to remember lies makes my brain hurt.
____ believes every single word you say. It's when you put them together to form a sentence that I think it's BS. (from my FB Fan Page, updated daily!)
What?
____ doesn't want to hear another word about my poor listening skills.
Work:
____ thinks that my fondest memory of my boss was before we met. (from my Facebook Fan Page)
Wine/Bad day:
____ will be in WTF mode with a bottle of wine until further notice.
____ has only had one glass of wine. Glass, bottle... whatever. A bottle is glass, right?
Laziness:
____ is happy to report that it's been another successful day of not getting a single thing accomplished. (from my Facebook Fan Page)
I've been writing MY STATUS IS BADDEST for an entire year now! I want to thank you for your continual theft of the status updates I've written. Your Facebook friends must think you are pretty clever by now. Each day this week I will post some of my favorites, so come back every day! I'll keep writing new Facebook Status updates as long as you keep coming back for more. Thanks, everybody!
