____ is dedicating this status update to all the statusless people out there. Stay strong. (thanks, Nate Combs!)
____ has a new philosophy to foster peace and harmony in the universe: GIVE ME WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT IT. (thanks, Nathan Smith!)
_____ thinks that about 50 years from now, tombstones will read: "Beloved wife, mother, sister, daughter...and Facebook friend" (thanks, Katie Grainger!)
____ wonders how we really know that hard work never killed anybody, when the only reliable witness may be dead? (thanks, Angela S!)
____ thinks that teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant. (thanks, Alexandra Bingham!)
____ "The best revenge is a life well-lived" is so true, but it doesn't provide the instant gratification I seek. (thanks, Joseph Perez)
____ thinks that my inability to use emoticons correctly is really getting me down :) (thanks, Jenni Wilson!)
____ knows that two wrongs don't make a right, but I'm determined to find out just how many wrongs will. (thanks, Jase Doe!)
____ sees your passive-aggressive sarcasm, and I'll raise you, one finger. (thanks, Mary McClure!)
____ would like to inform everyone that Helen Waite is now in charge of all rush orders. If you are in a hurry, just go to Helen Waite. (thanks, Kelly Kern!)
____ bets the road to hell looks just like a Walmart parking lot.(thanks, Kim Staggs!)
____ can't really remember, but I think my life must have been a lot more productive before I discovered Facebook... (thanks, Angela Coe!)
Are you a fan of my blog? Clearly, you have excellent taste! Do you pride yourself on writing unique Facebook status updates of your own? Send them to me at mystatusisbaddest@yahoo.com and if I like them, I'll publish them and give you credit. As always, thanks for reading!
