Thursday, December 2, 2010

New and clever Facebook status updates, 12/02/10:

GOOGLE now beatboxes?
1) Go to Google Translate
2) Set the translator to translate German to German
3) Copy + paste the following into the translate box: pv zk pv pv zk pv... zk kz zk pv pv pv zk pv zk zk pzk pzk pvzkpkzvpvzk kkkkkk bsch
4) Click “listen.” You're welcome.
Money (or lack of):
____ People say that money can't buy happiness. I say I haven't yet secured sufficient funding to conduct a sound study on this subject. (from my FAN PAGE)
____ is so poor that the alarm system in my house is a sheet of bubble wrap on the floor.
Annoying people:
____ Turtles can breathe out of their butt, which is incredible, considering most humans can only talk out of theirs. (from my FAN PAGE)
____ The next one to correct my "who" with a "whom" will be the smartest, bloodiest person in my general vicinity. (thanks, Sarah Viceman!)
____ is thankful that my liver hasn't left me, despite my constant abuse. (from my FAN PAGE)
____ Actually, officer, I prefer to think that scotch smells like me. (thanks, Ron McClain!)
____ It's not drinking alone if there's a mirror in the room, right? (from my FAN PAGE)
____ Apparently my boss has NOT heard the saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
____ The thing I hate most about the office holiday party is looking for a new job the next day. (from my FAN PAGE)
Bad day?
____ thinks that sometimes my life feels like a choose-your-own-adventure-novel gone bad.
____ is definitely older. Not sure about wiser...

FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Do you know a funny, clever or witty Facebook status update? Do you have a funny one-liner you'd like to share? Send me an email at