'Tis the season:
____ This time every year I dispose of my disposable income.
____ My Christmas "spirit" is 80 Proof.
____ would like to kick "Old Man Winter" down a flight of stairs. (from my Facebook Fan Page)
____ thinks that swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.
____ thinks that diamonds are a girl's best friend. And I always have room for more friends. Always. (thanks, Jenni More!)
____ is at that point in the day where I point out that point in the day. (thanks, Phil Stark)
____ Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. (from my Facebook Fan Page)
More Holiday status updates from "Rob":
____ Due To the poor econmony Holiday Cheer will be distributed in Shot Glasses.
____ has decided to take Frosty the Snowman out for some Flaming Dr. Peppers. What's the worst that could happen?
____ is wondering why his Stocking smells like feet.
____ "We learn something every day, and lots of times it’s that what we learned the day before was wrong." —Bill Vaughan
FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Do you know a funny, clever or witty Facebook status update? Do you have a funny one-liner you'd like to share? Send me an email at email@example.com.