Facebook status updates about work:
____ wishes that my computer would crash and erase all of the work I didn’t do this morning.
____ works well with others as long as they leave me the hell alone.
____ It's incredibly difficult to make myself look this busy.
____ is not a pessimist, I'm just optimistic that bad things are going to happen.
Facebook status update about school:
____ The only way I'm going to pass this test is if I eat it first.
____ is lying here unable to sleep, thinking about tomorrow when I'll be lying here unable to wake up.
____ Why do people that know the least, know it the loudest?
Facebook status update about Facebook:
____ has a whole lot of nothing to say today. If it weren't for Facebook, I might not have an outlet for that.
Drunken play on words:
____ when lemons hand you life, you're drunk.
____ It's too bad that we aren't supposed to repeat our mistakes. I'm so good at them.
FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Do you know a funny, clever or witty Facebook status update? Do you have a funny one-liner you'd like to share? Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.