____ If you're in the mood for endless compliments, just ask your significant other if they notice anything different about you.
Status update about work:
____ The difference between me and a workaholic is that I work considerably less.
____ People who say I'm hard to shop for don't know where to buy beer.
____ The spell czech on my computer has never failed me.
____ Just remember, kids: Illiteracy kils.
Not a morning person?
____ wishes that I could make it illegal for anyone to wake up before 6 am.
____ hates being asked if I've had any "past experience." Is there any other kind?
____ thinks that lying about my age is easier now that I sometimes forget what it is.
Getting into trouble:
____ keeps trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me :(
FYI: I grace my Facebook Fan page with a new update daily. Click HERE to become a Fan on Facebook! Do you know a funny, clever or witty Facebook status update? Do you have a funny one-liner you'd like to share? Send me an email at email@example.com.