____ thinks that the best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have.
____ When grown-ups tell kids they have a lot of energy, they really mean that they're being annoying little bastards.
____ Scrabble sucks when it's not your turn.
____ the responsibility of taking out the trash usually falls to the person who runs out of ways to fit more garbage into the bag. (thanks, Cynthia!)
____ proposes a toast to all my friends who are still with me in 2011. To those who unfriended me in 2010... you can kiss my glass. (thanks, Joseph Lauria!)
____ The last time I felt this hungover it was a Saturday in early January. I remember it like it was yesterday. (thanks, Paul G.!)
____ There are no bad ideas in brainstorming, only unworkable ideas from management that you'll waste months developing.(thanks, Chris Downs!)
____ If fifteen years of using the Internet has taught me anything, I certainly can't remember what it is. (thanks, Barry Gilbert!)
____ It's so cold outside that my New Year's resolution froze to death. (thanks, Rob Foster!)
____ knows that you don't understand but thinks it's cute that you're trying. (thanks, Earl Potter!)
____ wonders why dogs run to the door when someone knocks? It's never for them. (thanks, Shaun Raphael!)
Do you have a funny status update you'd like to share with the world (or, at least, the people of the world that read this particular blog)? Do you have a hilarious quote or one-liner that worked for you as a Facebook Status update? Please, don't be selfish, people! Send them to me at email@example.com. While you're at it, why don't you go ahead and