____ My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine. (Adrian Lavis)
____ changed all my passwords to "incorrect", so my computer just tells me when I forget. (Steven Kim)
____ had a really funny status update I was going to post here, but I forgot it. So, instead, I'll just ask all of you all to click the "like" button, and/or type "lol," and then go about your day thinking I'm really clever. (Jacob Grant)
____ There should be relationship status that says,"I don't even know what's going on." (Ramuhuyu 'panyaza' Thabelo)
____ If at first you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie. (TaLeighea Iaintelin)
____ That awkward moment when you realize you’re walking in the wrong direction, so you hit your pockets pretending you forgot something. (Steven Kim)
____ Apple has put on hold plans to release a new iPod designed for children to use. Apparently "iTouch Kids" wasn't an ideal product name. (Donna Pedersen Watson Hudon)
____ Welcome to the movie theater snack bar!! We have some crunchy popcorn, noisy cups of ice, crinkly candy bags, maracas, bubble wrap, and a freaking parrot! Now, silence your cell phones. (Nobo Dy)
____ isn't perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome! (Kevin Stroup)
____ won’t take a bullet for ANYONE, because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move. (Bama's Home Repair)
____ knows that roses are expensive but $120 for a dozen? Thats a lot of money for a plant you cant smoke. (Steven Kim)
____ Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren't the other 2. (Jad Bou Karam)
____ True "male enhancement" pills would make your bank account grow. (Nobo Dy)
____ If history repeats itself, I'm totally getting a dinosaur. (Karen Vanselow)
____ If you're cooler than me, doesn't that make me hotter than you? (Steven Kim)
____ The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. (Mike Foster)
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