____ That awkward moment when you get no "likes", so you delete your post. (Donna Pedersen Watson Hudon)
____ would like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I'm afraid they'll be used against me in a court of law someday. (Nobo Dy)
____ is pretty certain that it's easier to become a Navy SEAL than it is to get a damn fly out of my car. (Jason Wright)
____ "Nobody knows who I am." - Anonymous (Donny Norris)
____ is trying not to use the 'F word' so much, but it's proving to be hucking fard. (Nobo Dy)
____ loves how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?" (Snehal Nakade)
____ is so badass, I leave my messages BEFORE the beep!! DEAL WITH IT!!! (William Hale)
____ Ok...where did it ever say that Humpty Dumpty was an EGG? (Phil 'Barley' Ewens-Wheat)
____ Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?" (Steven Kim)
____ My boyfriend says I talk while I sleep. But I'm skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it. (Donna Young)
____ If I look intrigued while you're talking to me, it's because I'm thinking about how it would be possible to care less about what you're saying. (Nobo Dy)
____ The snooze button tempts greater than any devil I know. (Snehal Nakade)
____ Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my balcony, just to show them what I'm capable of. (Donna Pedersen Watson Hudon)
____ Whenever I ruin lunch, I instantly blame the pan. Stupid, stupid pan. (Amanda McSweeney)
____ Apparently dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 53 in a 35. (Mike Foster)
____ OK, I have a plan!! All I need is a small chicken, a wing-nut, and a cupcake. On second thought, forget the first 2, just get me a cupcake. (Dina Malinchalk Sadler)
____ saw the "typing" icon for, like, 5 minutes on Facebook chat, but all you said was "ok". WTF? (Steven Kim)
____ If they made a movie about my life, I think it would be the worst porno ever. (SamGirl Sunday)
____ is speeding because I have to poop. (Makyra Nunes)
____ just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she’s worth a shot. (Mher C Asadourian)
____ just started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't done a gig yet. (Donna Young)
____ Umm, when someone posts that they're having a bad day, I don't think it's proper Facebook etiquette to "like" their status. (Donny Norris)
____ If someone ever threatens me with "I'm gonna pop a cap in yo ass", I’m so screwed. Because GOD that would be so hard not to laugh at. (SamGirl Sunday)
____ just saw a group on Facebook called "I kissed a girl", and I "liked" it. (Steven Kim)
Thanks to everyone who contributes to my FACEBOOK FAN PAGE! When do you people sleep?
