____ loves it when a near-stranger and I share a hatred of the same person. We're immediately great friends.
____ My kids are asking to be fed and cared for and stuff. This "parenting" thing is a lot of work! :(
____ Never thought I would be one of those people who get up early to hit the gym every day. I was right.
____ I swear, the next person who pisses me off will find out very quickly that my threats are empty. (from my FAN PAGE)
____ Economists say the recession ended last year. Good to know. I'll bring that up at the dinner table tonight over our single bean. (via Funny on Facebook)
____ If you can go the entire car ride without eating some of your french fries, you're obviously some type of sorcerer. (from my FAN PAGE)
____ The crowd at this bar is so young someone just got slimed.
____ When you begin a sentence with “Don't tell anybody, but...”, the person you're talking to has already thought about who to tell. (from my FAN PAGE)
Hate your boss?
____ if ignorance is bliss, my boss should smile a hell of a lot more than he does.
____ There really isn't a good way to tell your boss that you'd like it if he were eaten by starving lions.
____ texted "I love you" to thirty phone numbers I just made up. Let the fun begin!!!
Typically, this is the part in my blog post where I shamelessly urge you to check out my FACEBOOK FAN PAGE and submit your own status updates. My original intention was to post my favorites once a week. But that wasn't good enough for you, was it? You people are posting on my Fan Page ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY. I've decided that once a week isn't enough. From now on, I will post my favorites daily (unless I don't feel like it that day). Thanks to each and every one of you. You...complete me. :)