____ If I ever go missing from Facebook it's because I've killed the next person to deliver a phone book to my front door.
____ It's 2011 and we're not riding around in flying cars? The future repulses me. (from my FAN PAGE)
Following your dreams:
____ Whenever I think something is impossible, I remember that they once gave a TV show to an extremely fake-looking alien named Alf.
____ is thankful that I don't have a "swear jar" today. That son-of-a-bitch would be filled right to the top.
____ thinks that my voice of reason has duct tape over it's mouth. :(
____ ♫ If you're happy and you know it, STFU... ♫
____ just read a study that suggests if you can't remember parts of your night, you have an "abnormal relationship" with alcohol. Crap.
____ was really tired, so I chased my Starbucks with a 5-hour Energy Shot and long story short I just dug a moat around my house.
Parents on Facebook:
____ Just because we have the same last name doesn't mean we have to be Facebook friends, Dad.
Facebook status update about Facebook:
____ Throughout history, there have been places where great and creative minds have gathered to become greater...this is not one of those places.
____ Just when I start to think mankind will be okay, I see someone struggle with the self-checkout for 15 minutes. (from my FAN PAGE)
____ The thing I enjoy about most waking up an hour early is completely wasting an extra hour of my day.
____ ate so badly this past weekend that my body would probably mistake a piece of fruit for a virus and try to attack it.
Like these? I post daily on my Facebook FAN PAGE! Do you have one you'd like to share with needy Facebook users worldwide? Post it on my page or send me an email at email@example.com. Thanks for stopping by :)