Monday, September 19, 2011


Thanks to everyone who reads my blog and a HUGE thank you to those who contribute their own status updates on my Facebook Fan Page, which now has over 6500 FANS!

____ You shouldn't compare yourself to others. They are more screwed up than you think. (Chris Hallman)
____ Most of the time when people laugh at me...I'm not trying to be funny. (Donny Norris)
____ We have a lot of children living on our street, so I try to caution speeders by bouncing an old tricycle off their windshield. (Nobo Dy)
____ Do these insecurities make my butt look big? (SamGirl Sunday)
____ If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're...your...booty call! (Mustache Man)
‎____ 98% of all band-aids are used to cover up a child's melodramatic bulls***. (William Hale)
____ In school I was never the class clown, but more the class trapeze artist. I was always being suspended. (Tom Guntorius)
____ hates it when I have to explain that my status was a joke to people who are too stupid to get it. (Carrie Danley)
____ Yesterday, at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how he prepared the chicken. He replied, "We don't...we just tell it straight that it's going to die!" (Mahesh Shroff)
____ has OC/DC. It's like OCD but it f***ing rocks. (Adam Apple)
____ loves my job and that's the first lie I've told today. (Donny Norris)
____ Don't worry. If I don't "like" your status it's only because I don't like your status. (Art Mabry)
____ Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos? (Ron Alderson)
____ doesn't have a cape or a shield or a hammer or any kind of super power, but I have this Zebra pen that I've been using for a really long time and it hasn't yet run out of ink. (Jacob Grant)
____ "like" this status to prove you've got nothing better to do. I've done my bit. (Mahesh Shroff)
____ woke up way too early for someone who will accomplish absolutely nothing today. (Makyra Nunes)
____ It should be perfectly legal to kill people who brag about not owning a TV. (Fadi BouKaram)
____ Females : they hate it when you ask their age, but they'll kill you if you forget their birthday. (Jason Fundora)
____ Borrow your wife's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the whole damn community will stop by to chat. True story. FML. (Donny Norris)
____ wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere. (Victoria Beryl Zelinski)
____ sexting gives me a phoner. (Adam Apple)
____ Texting and driving is dangerous but sexting and driving is cool right? (Leilani Christi)
____ The good thing about having a bad memory is that statusses can be funny more than once. (Donna Pedersen Watson Hudon)
‎____ "Sure 9:30 is a good time to eat dinner...if you're a vampire!" - old people. (Lisa James)
____ wishes that my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work. (Rae Broman)
____ felt like a STUD today. I had 4 chicks following me around wherever I went! I was at a farm...and they were just hatched...but they did follow me. (Mustache Mann)
____ Every time I manage to stop a gas pump on an even dollar I immediately hop in my car and head to the casino. (Donny Norris)

Think you can do better? Become a FAN ON FACEBOOK and submit yours!