Monday, September 12, 2011

It's a Fan Page Facebook Status-Off! Here are the first 20 of 200 I'll post today:

My readers are hilarious and I have proof! Check back every hour (for 10 hours) today and you will find 20 new Fan Page Facebook Status updates. Thanks to everyone who reads my blog and a HUGE thank you to those who contribute their own status updates on my Facebook Fan Page, which now has over 6400 FANS!

____ You know, one day we will look back on all this and you will have a scar there. (Donny Norris)
____ hates it when friends of mine get divorced. It's like they don't even remember my hilarious dance moves at their wedding. (Nobo Dy)
____ A word is worth 1/1000th of a picture. (Art Mabry)
____ Wtf? It's 2011, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower. (OverDose)
____ If she was a real "psychic palm reader" she would've asked me to wash my hands first. (Rod West)
____ If you leave me a message saying "call me when you have a minute" I can guarantee you I will be busy for the rest of the day. (SamGirl Sunday)
____ The problem with rush hour traffic is that by the time I get home I lose my buzz. (Nobo Dy)
____ If Facebook did come up with a “dislike” button, I wouldn't tell you people. (MindFreak Covert Operative)
____ How to Change a Tire: 1) Stare into trunk for 25 minutes 2) Check glove compartment to see if you still have those Cheetos 3) Call Dad. (Leilani Christi)
____ hates when I'm singing a song and a co-worker thinks they can join in and sing with me. Bitch, this is NOT Glee!! (William Hale)
____ Note to shelf: thanks for keeping my stuff off the floor. (Adam Apple)
____ My liver is evil and must be drowned with alcohol. (Mark Er)
____ From now on, when someone posts FML, I'll assume they mean "Fermenting My Liver." (Rich Stevenson)
____ OMG! I just discovered I have a super power! I can be invisible! Oh no no, wait, I'm just being ignored. (Julie A Ostmann)
____ Ladies, if you give men a choice between two things they'll pick the first. They stopped listening and didn't hear the second. (Kylie Toyne)
____ Since Facebook shows when you add new friends, it's only fair, and would be quite amusing, to show when you delete someone...and why. Example: Greg Wies deleted Jack Waggen because he's a f***tard. (Greg Wies)
____ The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done". (Chris Hallman)
____ Forget Viagra, I need a pill that makes my wife like me for four hours. (Tom Guntorius)
____ If I was a Serial Killer and I wanted theme music, I'd probably go with the standard Ice Cream Truck jingle. (Amy Moreno)
____ That moment when a question on a test is so hard that even your inner voice is like, "The hell with it, let's just work at McDonalds". (Jason Sellers)

Check back in one hour for 20 more!