Facebook Status update about Facebook:
____ If you love someone, just tell them. Or get drunk and "like" a whole bunch of their stuff on Facebook in a short period of time. Same thing. (from my FAN PAGE)
____ It's going to take a lot more than a few “LIKES” on my Facebook page to make me forget what an ass you were in high school.
Lying:
____ "Oh, I definitely get it now!" -Me, not getting something.
Dieting / Drinking:
____ will never have six-pack abs, mostly because calorie-free booze doesn't exist.
Truth:
____ has a confession to make...I'm not going to make it, but I have one. (from my FAN PAGE)
Sleeplessness:
____ Would somebody turn off Facebook? I'm trying to sleep.
Modern technology:
____ just dialed a number and got a busy signal. Is that still a thing?
Opinions:
____ Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
Narcissism:
____ is taking a brief break from thinking about myself to catch up on Facebook.
Kids:
____ My kid spends most of the day doing goofy things and saying, “Look at me! Look at me!” Kinda like everybody on Facebook. (from my FAN PAGE)
Work sucks:
____ always seems to get to the point in a new job when I realize I didn't actually hate my old job, I just hate working.
Idiots:
____ When I say I "agree to disagree", what I mean is: "You seem to have gotten your head stuck up your ass, but I'm done talking about it now." (from my FAN PAGE)
Great Quote:
____ "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a**holes." -William Gibson
Funny Quote:
____ "There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, CEO of DIGITAL in 1977.
FYI: I write a new Facebook Status update on my FAN PAGE daily. If you think mine is crap, you're in luck! My Facebook "FANS" post new and hilarious status updates constantly. You're bound to find something that works for you! I also publish FUNNY ON FACEBOOK, which highlights entertaining tweets that could also work as your status update. Thanks for choosing MY STATUS IS BADDEST for all of your status-stealing needs!
