____ Practical joke idea: All of us go back to Myspace for one week, get Tom all excited, and then leave again. (from my FAN PAGE)
Facebook Status updates about Facebook:
____ wishes that Facebook had a "drama of the day" section to refer to in my feed.
____ feels guilty for not spending more time with my kids. I should really get them a Facebook account.
____ "You're going to develop crushes on lots of sexy and funny people who happen to be married now. With kids." -Facebook.
____ If you write "Happy Birthday" on someone's Facebook wall with no exclamation point, I'm afraid you have no soul. (from my FAN PAGE)
____ 50 years from now I will post new status updates from my imaginary phone at the nursing home and laugh and laugh and cry and mumble a bunch of crap about you people.
____ Vodka is just amazing water.
____ Either I wrote a bunch of drunken Facebook status updates last night, or my dog has finally figured out the computer.
____ is wearing my pajamas and buying booze at 10am on a Monday. I probably don't need a receipt. (from my FAN PAGE)
____ You know you really love somebody when you despise them a little, too.
____ Try as you might, you can only hide crazy for so long.
____ If you think you're going to get me to like you by complimenting me over and over again, well I have some news for you, buddy! That sh*t works.
FYI: I post a new status update on my FACEBOOK FAN PAGE every day! Stop by tomorrow for a sampling of the best status updates submitted by my 8100+ fans. Also, become a fan. The people that post on my page are funny, original and VERY twisted. Thanks for reading!