This is part deux of the status updates I've liked on my FAN PAGE recently. Part one is HERE.
____ I love fair food! Candy apples, cotton candy, sausage-on-a-stick, those boil-in-a-bag goldfish... MMM! (Bald Beaver Hunter)
____ Have you ever had that moment where you start to post something, then you hit backspace a million times because you suddenly realize that you're going to publicly announce what a complete and utter dumbass you are? Yeah, a lot more people I know need to do that. (Jenni More)
____ Remember when we used to have innocent thoughts? Me neither. (Jody Walker Stratton)
____ I did some hard time...I logged out of my Facebook for a whole hour and a half. (Stephanie Manera)
____ My calculator is missing the minus button, but on the plus side it still works. (Fitzroy Røbèrts)
____ I jumped because mack daddy made me. (Juliet Rockspin)
____I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him. (Jeanie Erwee)
____ My girlfriend says she thinks that I might be a stalker...Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. (Tom Guntorius)
____ Its amazing how many bad decisions can be justified or explained away by just saying, "I was drunk" or "I was in love" Both of which impair good judgement, logic, and common sense. But if I had to choose, I'd choose drunk. (Dave NoMoneyhoney Blum)
____ Me. (Needs somebody to like me.) (Juliet Rockspin)
____ I'm just gonna say one thing today: I will never shut up! (GoldRobo Dancer Guy)
____ This mornings poke war just serves to reaffirm my belief that I am too pretty for prison. (Donny Norris)
____ I'm trying to think outside the box. Will somebody please let me out of this box?! (Juliet Rockspin)
____ Two people who really hate each other can suddenly really like each other if they can find someone else they can both really hate together. (Egg Head)
____ Did you ever have a day that you wanted to simply click on start>shutdown>restart? (Beau Diggity)
____ Monday came in like a lion and went out like a little bitch. (Lisa James)
____ I decided to post all my statuses in capitals from now on. This one was posted in London. (Shafique Khatri)
____ Sometimes when I see people jogging outside, I like to drive slowly down the road behind them blasting "Eye of the Tiger" just to give them some motivation. (Hollywood Allan)
____ Chuck Norris was born May 6, 1945. The Nazis surrendered May 7, 1945. Coincidence? I think not. (Caleb Killion)
____ If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I wouldn't spend so much time on Facebook. (Chris Peacock)
____ "Because I felt like it",is a completely legit answer to me. (Carrie Leigh)
____ *starts typing status*... oh crap, I have family on here... delete delete delete. (Nikki Sholar)
____ FOUND MY CAR KEYS!!!!! They were under my dresser with a note that said "Good job! You found us!" Apparently "Drunk me" is a real bitch! (Wendy Lee Norried-Herrera)
____ “Misery LOVES company” and THAT is why I now have a plant in my office. (Rae Broman)
____ I would love to host a show if they name it "So You Think You Can Keep Your Stupid Talent to Yourself and Stop Bothering People?" (Shafique Khatri)
____ You know about those slap bracelets? What would be really cute is if the police used them instead of handcuffs. You know, for when you are only in a little bit of trouble. (Juliet Rockspin)
____ So say animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Is that listed in the credits or what? Bob hurt one bird. He's very sorry. (Shannon Root)
____ I wish women still wore corsets. Those Victorian bitches could eat as many donuts as they wanted. (Jenni More)
____ If you can order a pu pu platter without laughing you are way too mature to hang out with me. (Jack Olivar)
____ Just figured out why this spray tanned Jersey Shore wannabe dude is digging this song so much. The beat says DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE (Tom Guntorius)
____ It's time to go into Baskin Robbins, ask to sample all 31 flavors, and leave. (Juliet Rockspin)
____ If you think the internet has everything, good luck finding zombie porn (Adam Apple)
____ Curious George books are a great way to teach kids that single men who wear large yellow hats and own pet monkeys are in no way threatening. (Sean Shipley)
____ A power nap is when you sleep on someone who's weaker than you, right? (Jordana G-star)
____ A hot 40 oz of Bud ice and cold pizza is a acceptable breakfast isn't it? (Bald Beaver Hunter)
____ If it's unladylike, fattening or fun, I'm in! (Tanya De Vito McMahon)
____ My friend was trying to build a Lego castle last night while intoxicated but she hit a few stumbling blocks. (Juliet Rockspin)
____ Just bumped into my imaginary friend from when I was a kid. Turns out he's real. (Danny Coleiro)
____ Elevator? Nonsense. This is a traveling hugging booth and I see you've selected the button for 16 hugs. So let's get to it. Come here, you! (William Hale)
____ Why don't you all quit stuffin' your faces and get over here and like this damn status that I put absolutely no thought into..... (Bob MuppetMan Brittain)
____ I don't care if your color is white, black or even yellow. When I call for help, one of you Power Rangers better show up. (Hollywood Allan)
____ The bearded lady, the guy with all the body piercings, the dude with 14 toes, the geek biting the chickens head off ...Yep, I'm in WalMart. (Donny Norris)
____ Well...it's late so, one more case of beer and I'm going to bed. (Mustache Mann)
____ "Shiver me liver!" - drunk pirate looking at his empty bottles (Lisa James)
____ Man I can't wait to see the look on a genie's face when I use my last wish on a hunchback midget who feeds me tacos with a t-shirt gun. (Mike Seriously)
____ Sometimes you've got it, and sometimes you're like me. (Bob MuppetMan Brittain)
____ I turned my blu-ray into a blurry-ray just by getting drunk. (Lisa James)
____ You don't just wake up one morning and be this awesome people. I did but you don't. (Donny Norris)
____ I walked into the restroom at the local bar earlier, the guy next to me said "I'm so drunk I'm pissing tequila" That's the last time I'm falling for that one (Bald Beaver Hunter)
____ So I posted on my wall "Like this if you don't like me!" - So far 45 people have liked it and I'm still getting notifications. Some even commented "Superlike." I bet this will silence all the haters who thought I wasn't popular. (GoldRobo Dancer Guy)
____ A depression evaluation should include the question "How many empty fast food bags are in your car?" (Mike Seriously)
